From Limitation to Liberation: Break Free from your Limiting Beliefs
In the journey of personal growth, one obstacle that often holds us back is our own limiting beliefs. These beliefs, formed in our childhood, can persist into adulthood, and hinder our progress towards success and fulfilment. But there is the good news: by recognising and overcoming your limiting beliefs, you can unlock our true potential and live the life you aspire to.
Limiting Beliefs are one of the most common issues I work with for two reasons. We all have them and my approach is Solution Focused: at its very core, it supports clients in developing their sense of agency which is ideal for moving on from issues rooted in the past to achieve sustainable improvements in their quality of life.
So what are Limiting Beliefs?
We all form a set of beliefs in our childhoods: generally, they are formed rationally and serve us well at the time. However, time moves on and things change. As we become adults, our childhood beliefs serve us less well – and the resultant behaviours may become incongruent with the situation we are in.
This leads to the conclusion that one of the things it means to grow up, is to develop out of our childhood beliefs and adopt a new set of beliefs – and resultant behaviours – that will serve us more resourcefully as adults. This progression follows a broad pattern of developing from dependence as children to independence as young adults to interdependence as mature adults.
Our overall set of beliefs are developing all the time. However, most of us will carry some of our childhood beliefs with us in to adulthood. Most will be innocuous, but some of them may impede our performance as high functioning adults. Many adults benefit from contemplating this list, recognising any that are impacting on their quality of life and working on growing out of them.
Common Limiting Beliefs
A general list of limiting beliefs has been well established
I need everyone I Know to approve of me
I must avoid being disliked from any source
People should strive to ensure I am happy. Always!
I shouldn’t have to feel sadness, discomfort and pain
It is not OK for me to make mistakes. If I do, I am bad
Things must work out the way I want them to work out
People who do not make me happy should be punished
My emotions are illnesses that I’m powerless to control
Someone, somewhere, should take responsibility for me
To be a valuable person I must succeed in everything I do
My future outcomes will be the same as my past outcomes
Everyone needs to rely on someone stronger than themselves
I can feel happy in life without contributing back in some way
Events in my past are the root of my attitude & behaviour today
Beyond these, we can have our own specific limiting beliefs which are often versions of
Change is bad
Conflict is bad
I’m unattractive
People are mean
I am not worthy
I’m not good enough
I am not smart enough
the world is a scary place
Simply reflecting on the above may point the way to a resolution. Working with a Solution Focused Therapist is particularly well suited to personal development in this area. By its very nature, it opens up the pathways between the parts we know and recognise as ‘us’ and the deeper levels of our wisdom: ideal when are going through lots of changes on our lives.
It is more effective to work on these with a skilled helper however working through the following questions will provide you with some insight
What is the evidence for this belief – and against it?
Am I basing this belief in facts or feelings?
Is this belief really black and white – or is it more interesting than that?
Could I be misrepresenting the evidence?
What assumptions am I making?
Might others have different interpretations of the issue?
If so, what might they be?
Am I looking at all the evidence or just what supports my thoughts?
Could my thoughts be an exaggeration of what is true?
The more you think about the evidence and differing perspectives, is this belief really the truth?
Am I having this thought out of habit, or do the facts support it?
Did someone pass this thought or belief on to me – if so, are they a reliable source?
Does this belief serve you well in life?
Does this belief help or restrict you in your life?
Have you paid a price from holding this belief – if so, what?
Would there be a price from continuing to hold this belief – is so, what?
What do you think about this belief now?
This, analytical, approach can be illuminating. The insight gained can then be used with a range of hypno-therapeutic processes to accelerate your personal development.
The author, Kevin Whitelaw, is an accredited Solution Focused Hypnotherapist who helps adults across the globe become their best selves. He can be found here: A little about me
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