A Comprehensive Guide to Understanding and Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Welcome to page eight in this series taking an in-depth look at Imposter Syndrome. In this page, we will explore the concept of Imposter Syndrome being an adaptive survival style.

For the purposes of the series, we are describing imposter syndrome as a psychological pattern where individuals doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent, internalised fear of being exposed as a fraud. Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing Imposter Syndrome remain convinced that they do not deserve their success or accolades. The key factor is the incongruity between the persons’ perceptions and those of an objective external observer. They may attribute their achievements to luck, timing, or deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and capable than they believe themselves to be. This can lead to significant stress, anxiety, and a reluctance to take on new challenges or opportunities.

The key issue is the incongruity between the individuals’ perception of their competence and worthiness versus that an objective external observer. Often this is driven by a limiting belief.

While Imposter Syndrome is often understood as a psychological pattern as above, it can also be viewed through the lens of adaptive survival styles. This perspective may offer deeper understanding of how past experiences, particularly adverse childhood experiences (ACE’s), shape our self-perceptions and coping mechanisms. In some cases, Imposter Syndrome may develop as an adaptive survival style in response to early life trauma, serving as a protective mechanism that helped the individual navigate challenging environments.

 

What are Adaptive Survival Styles?

Adaptive survival styles are coping mechanisms developed during childhood to manage and survive adverse experiences or environments. These styles arise as a response to trauma, neglect, or any form of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) that overwhelm a child’s capacity to cope. The goal of these adaptive behaviours is to protect the child from emotional and physical when they lack the resources or support to deal with these stressors effectively.

In the context of trauma, adaptive survival styles are deeply ingrained patterns of behaviour, emotions, and thought processes that were initially useful in ensuring safety and stability. However, as the individual grows and circumstances change, these once adaptive strategies can become maladaptive. They may hinder personal growth, affect relationships, and lead to various mental health issues, such as anxiety, depression, and Imposter Syndrome. Recognising and addressing these survival styles is crucial for healing and developing healthier coping mechanisms that are better suited to an individual’s current life context i.e. as an adult and no longer a child.

Adaptive survival styles are not inherently negative. They are a testament to an individual’s resilience and ability to navigate through difficult circumstances. However, transitioning from these survival strategies to more constructive and adaptive ways of functioning requires awareness, and often therapeutic intervention. This transformation involves understanding the origins of these behaviours, acknowledging their impact, and actively working towards adopting healthier, more adaptive coping mechanisms.

Research has identified five Adaptive Survival Styles which have broad areas of overlap. Most who are carried developmental trauma into their adulthood, can identify with some more than others while others can identify with them all. The five Adaptive Survival Styles have been described as Connection, Attunement, Trust, Autonomy, and Love. Each is briefly described below.

In the short-term, adopting elements of the survival strategies may prove effective. This can lead to us learning beliefs which may be true at the time. It is likely that such beliefs will become increasingly less resourceful – or indeed damaging – to us as we go through life. When this happens, we refer to these beliefs as limiting beliefs. The concept of limiting beliefs is an issue I work through with almost all my clients. How to explore them, how to diffuse them, how to move on from them, and how to use that insight to move on in life. See the page The Power of Overcoming Limiting Beliefs

An element which some may find quite challenging is that, on occasions, the adaptations we make in response to adverse childhood experiences may lead to adulthood capabilities which come to be beneficial. They may have a significant influence on the adult life we live.

 

The Adaptive Survival Styles

Connection

Our basic need, as social animals, to be, and feel, connected to those around us. Existentially crucial when, as children, we are completely reliant on our primary caregivers for our continued existence.

Problems with connection arise when we feel our environment is not safe and welcoming, when there is active abuse, or rejection; a general feeling that nobody is there for us. This can lead to a general ambivalence about being alive. When this basic need is not met, we disconnect from forming relationships, from our emotions and our body. This gives us a dilemma: as a social animal I need to connect, but I am afraid to.

As we form our views of the world, we can come to form beliefs such as; I am unlovable, I don’t have much right to exist, I don’t belong, relationships are scary. Adults who have adopted the connection survival style often do not feel safe in the world, have difficulty acknowledging their emotions and find it difficult to connect with others. They are often solitary, with very small social groups and spend a lot of time on our own. Those who have adopted the connection survival style may become more intuitive, spiritually connected, creative thinkers than they would have been otherwise.

The Connection survival style arises when an individual’s basic need for feeling connected and safe in their environment is unmet. This can lead to feelings of isolation and a belief that one is inherently unworthy of relationships or support. Individuals who have developed this survival style may perceive themselves as impostors because they have internalized the belief that they do not belong or are not good enough to be part of a community or professional group.

Example: A person with a Connection survival style might constantly feel that their professional achievements are undeserved, attributing any success to external factors rather than their own capabilities. This belief is rooted in their early experiences of feeling disconnected and unsupported.

Attunement

Our need to feel for attachment, for physical and emotional nourishment, social engagement and receiving caring attention. When our attunement needs are not met, we can become ambivalent and neglectful of them. We can find it difficult to know what we need. We don’t ask for our needs to be met (or we can feel shameful for asking) and we can have difficulty receiving care in our lives.

As we form our views of the world, we can come to form beliefs such as; I shouldn’t express my needs, I am deprived, I don’t deserve much, having needs is shameful, I’m not meant to have what I really want.

Those who have adopted the attunement survival style may become more emotionally intelligent, supportive of others, accepting of diversity, willing to work at the edges of human experience (aid workers, hospice carers) than they would have been otherwise.

Attunement relates to the need for emotional and physical nourishment. When these needs are neglected, individuals may struggle to recognize and express their own needs, leading to feelings of shame and inadequacy. This can manifest as Imposter Syndrome, where the individual feels undeserving of attention or accolades and believes that their success is not a result of their own efforts.

Example: Someone with an Attunement survival style may downplay their achievements and feel uncomfortable receiving praise, as their early experiences taught them that their needs and desires were unimportant or shameful.

Trust

Feeling the security of believing our primary caregivers will consistently meet our needs. When this basic need is not met, we can find it difficult to trust others, find it difficult to manage in inter-dependent relationships, have difficulty in asking for help and feel the need to be overly controlling with others and their environments.

As we form our views of the world, we can come to form beliefs such as; others are just out to use me, I have to succeed in everything I try, to struggle is un-acceptable, people must not see my weaknesses.

Those who have adopted the trust survival style may become more decisive and focused, natural leaders, self-reliant, and better able to thrive in the face of challenge, danger, or conflict than they would have been otherwise.

The Trust survival style develops when there is a lack of consistent and reliable support from caregivers. This can result in difficulties trusting others and oneself. Individuals with this survival style may feel that they must always prove their worth and that failure is unacceptable. This constant need for validation and fear of failure are hallmarks of Imposter Syndrome.

Example: A person with a Trust survival style may overwork themselves to ensure they meet high standards, fearing that any mistake will expose them as a fraud. Their inability to trust their own abilities and judgment stems from early experiences of unreliable support.

Autonomy

Our need to feel supported in developing our sense of independence and autonomy. When our autonomy needs are not met, we can feel unsafe in determining what we do and don’t like, feel unsafe in expressing ourselves. This may lead to ambivalence about progressing from dependence to independence to inter-dependence.

As we form our views of the world we can come to form beliefs such as; I must please all those around me, making decisions is scary, I’m obliged to say yes (when I really want to say no).
Those who have adopted the autonomy survival style may become more grounded and stable, may be very loyal, may be good problem solvers and mediators, and may be more focused on being in service to others than they would have been otherwise.

Autonomy involves the need for independence and self-expression. When this need is suppressed, individuals may struggle with decision-making and feel compelled to meet others’ expectations. This can lead to Imposter Syndrome, where the individual feels they must constantly seek approval and cannot trust their own choices or achievements.

Example: An individual with an Autonomy survival style might feel that they are only successful because they conformed to others’ expectations, not because of their own abilities or decisions. This belief can cause them to doubt their competence and feel like an impostor.

Love

Our need to feel connected and intimate. When our love needs are not met, we can feel rejected and invalidated, as though we must be perfect to be lovable, that we must close our hearts to protect ourselves. This may lead to ambivalence about feeling lovable and living with an open heart

As we form our views of the world, we can come to form beliefs such as: I am scared of my sexuality, I prefer to reject than to be rejected, I don’t belong here, emotions are a sign of weakness.
Those who have adopted the love survival style may stay focused on learning and development to achieve success, may be more committed to excellence, more able to follow through to completion than they would have been otherwise.

The Love survival style is about the need for intimacy and feeling valued. When these needs are unmet, individuals may believe they are unlovable or that they must achieve perfection to be worthy of love. This can lead to Imposter Syndrome, where the individual feels they must hide their true selves and constantly strive for unattainable standards to gain acceptance.

Example: A person with a Love survival style might believe that any success is merely a fluke and that they must keep achieving more to maintain others’ approval. This relentless pursuit of perfection can reinforce feelings of being an impostor.

Next Steps

If you resonate with the concepts discussed in this article and recognise Imposter Syndrome as an adaptive survival style stemming from adverse childhood experiences, you are not alone: of the ten recognised adverse childhood experiences, two-thirds of adults have experienced one or more and around one in eight have experienced four or more – the threshold indicating increased likelihoods of both physical and psychological issue arising in adult life. Many individuals carry these deeply ingrained patterns into adulthood, impacting their personal and professional lives. The good news is that recognising these patterns is the first step towards healing and achieving post-trauma growth. Here are the next steps you can take to work through these issues with the support of an appropriate therapist.

 

Strategies to begin overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Acknowledge Your Experience

The first step in addressing Imposter Syndrome as an adaptive survival style is acknowledging its roots in your past experiences. Reflect on your childhood and identify the adverse experiences that may have contributed to your current self-perceptions and coping mechanisms. Understanding these connections can provide valuable insights into why you feel the way you do.

Seek Professional Support

Working with a Solution Focused therapist can be incredibly beneficial in navigating these complex emotions and behaviours. Solution Focused therapy is a goal-oriented approach that emphasises your strengths and resources. It helps you envision a preferred future and develop actionable steps to achieve it. A therapist can guide you in exploring and reframing your limiting beliefs, helping you build a more positive self-image. The Solution Focused approach is best suited to those who have come to accept the past and now ready to move on with their post-trauma development.

Set Specific, Achievable Goals

In Solution Focused therapy, setting specific and achievable goals is a core element. These goals should reflect what you hope to achieve by addressing your Imposter Syndrome. Whether it’s gaining confidence in your abilities, improving your professional performance, or building healthier relationships, clearly defined goals provide direction and motivation.

Identify and Leverage Your Strengths

A key component of the Solution Focused approach is identifying and leveraging your strengths and resources. Reflect on past successes and situations where you felt competent and capable. Discussing these with your therapist or friend can uncover the skills and attributes that contributed to those successes. Leveraging these strengths can help you build confidence and reduce feelings of being an impostor.

Develop Coping Strategies

A therapist will help you develop coping strategies to manage feelings of self-doubt and anxiety. These strategies may include cognitive restructuring to challenge negative thoughts, mindfulness practices to stay grounded in the present, and positive affirmations to reinforce your self-worth. Building a toolkit of coping mechanisms can help you navigate challenging situations more effectively.

Visualise Success and Practice Self-Compassion

Visualisation is a powerful tool in Solution Focused therapy. Spend time visualising your future self, free from Imposter Syndrome, and consider what that looks like. Additionally, practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a friend. This can help mitigate the harsh self-criticism often associated with Imposter Syndrome.

Monitor Progress and Adjust Goals

Regularly monitor your progress and adjust your goals as needed. Therapy is a dynamic process, and your goals may evolve as you gain insights and make progress. Celebrate small victories along the way, and use them as motivation to keep moving forward.

Commit to Continuous Growth

Achieving post-trauma growth is an ongoing journey. Commit to continuous personal and professional growth by seeking opportunities for learning and development. This could include taking courses, attending workshops, or seeking new challenges that push you out of your comfort zone. Embrace the mindset that growth is a lifelong process.

Conclusion

Viewing Imposter Syndrome through the lens of adaptive survival styles offers a nuanced understanding of its origins. It highlights how early life experiences shape our self-perceptions and coping mechanisms. By recognizing these patterns, individuals can begin to address the underlying issues that contribute to their feelings of being an impostor. This involves acknowledging the adaptive nature of these survival styles, understanding their impact, and working towards developing healthier, more constructive coping strategies. Through this process, individuals can move from a place of self-doubt and insecurity to one of self-acceptance and confidence, ultimately overcoming the limitations imposed by Imposter Syndrome.

Ready to overcome self-doubt and conquer your Imposter Syndrome?

Read the rest of the series to explore Imposter Syndrome in depth and build your own toolbox to sustain your well-being for the long term. Coming next in the series:

1 – Imposter Syndrome Demystified: Unlock Your True Potential

2 -The Challenges of Imposter Syndrome

3 – Measuring and assessing Imposter Syndrome

4 – Imposter Syndrome or Competence?

5 – Imposter Syndrome as a Limiting Belief

6 – Self-Help Strategies for Imposter Syndrome

7 – 20 Solution Focused questions to ask yourself

9 – Applying the model of neurological levels to Imposter Syndrome

10 – Imposter Syndrome in the Workplace